Puzzle Pieces
by 51Dreaming
Summary: Johnny is forced to give some thought to areas of his life he had always taken for granted. How will this affect him...and a very special friend?


**Puzzle Pieces**

To Marykay. Thanks for the inspiration.

**Chapter One**

"Damn it!"

Johnny Gage was late again. He was stuck in the bumper-to-bumper freeway traffic that is a fact of life in Los Angeles.

Johnny glanced at his watch. A half hour late and counting. One of the paramedics from the previous shift was cooling his heels, waiting for him to arrive.

"Come on, come on," he muttered at the line of cars ahead of him. "Move, damn it!"

**Chapter Two**

"Man, is Gage gonna get it."

Roy DeSoto glared at Chet Kelly. "Chet, would you stop it already? There's gotta be a explanation. At least wait until Johnny gets here before jumping to conclusions. Maybe he had a flat. Maybe he stopped to help someone. Maybe he - "

"Spent too much time admiring his reflection," Chet snickered. "Five bucks says that's why he's late."

"He'll never admit that," Marco Lopez observed.

"We'll know," Mike Stoker shrugged. "If he stammers, he's lying."

"Guys, get to work," Captain Stanley ordered, before disappearing into his office and slamming the door. Chet snickered.

"Man, is Gage gonna get it."

**Chapter Three**

Johnny spotted a few openings in the four lanes on the 101. Despite his experience that weaving in and out of lanes did not get him to his destination any faster, his gut told him differently.

He tried to change lanes and was immediately cut off by another driver who had the same idea.

"Asshole!"

"Screw this," he said under his breath, as he inched the Rover to the right lane and craned his neck to see how close he was to the nearest exit. As he approached the exit, he glanced at his watch again. Forty-five minutes late.

The traffic inched along the last quarter mile to the exit. Johnny turned off the freeway onto the exit ramp, mentally calculating the best surface street route to Station Fifty-One. If he turned right, the route was shorter, but the tie-ups were insane. And there were too many stop lights. The route to the left was longer, but the risk of running into heavy traffic was less. He would go...left.

The light at the end of the ramp turned yellow.

"Shit!"

This was one light he wasn't going to stop for. He gunned the motor. As he took the turn, he glanced at his watch. One hour late.

**Chapter Four**

"Station 51, traffic accident, northbound Valencia Street at the 101 exit. Time out, 9:00."

"Station 51, 10-4, KMG 365." Cap handed the address to Roy. Scott Winslow, the paramedic from the previous shift, hustled into the shotgun seat and took the address from Roy. As they headed out, Scott shook his head. "So much for my kid's kindergarten play. Thanks a bunch, Gage." Roy nodded. He was beginning to think Chet was right. Johnny and his excuses were bad enough, but Johnny an hour late...inexcusable. He'd better be at the station when they returned. And he'd better apologize.

**Chapter Five**

"Hey hang on, we called for help." Johnny was dimly aware of a voice, but it was at a distance...

"How the hell are they gonna get him outta there?"

"I dunno. That's why they're the experts, man."

"Wow, look at all the glass."

Johnny tried to open his eyes. He managed to open one eye, but the left side of his face was jammed against something. He was pinned between the driver's seat and steering wheel of the Rover. His face was numb. His back was killing him. He heard sirens approaching.

"Hang on man, the Fire Department is here. Hang on."

**Chapter Six**

"Chet, Marco, let's get that pavement hosed down! Okay folks, if you could move back and give us room to work..."

Roy and Scott jumped from the squad. Roy was so intent on pulling equipment that he didn't realize the vehicle lying on its driver's side was a Rover until he turned toward it, carrying the drug box and biophone.

"No. No way." He looked through the windshield. "Oh, my God." he climbed up the Rover to the passenger side, and pulled at the door. "I need some help here!"

Scott scrambled up with a crowbar and worked the door open. Roy climbed down into the vehicle, inching his way into the back seat, down to Johnny's level. "Scott, hand me the drug box."

"You got it. The drug box was lowered. Roy jammed himself between the back and front seats, as close to Johnny as he dared.

"Junior? It's okay. We're gonna get you outta here." Roy heaved a sigh of relief when Johnny's hand raised slightly and he gave him a thumbs up.

Roy pulled out a stethoscope and BP cuff. He worked his arms around and placed the cuff on Johnny's arm. "Just gonna get some vitals here..." He was rewarded with another thumbs up.

"Scott's face appeared above Roy, silhouetted in the open passenger side doorway. "I got Rampart."

"Okay. BP, 140/90, pulse 100, respirations 20 and labored. He's lost a lot of blood, the window here is shattered, his face is pressed against it. I can't tell how much glass is in his face till we get him outta here."

"Hey Roy, we're gonna hafta cut the roof here. Then we can pull him straight out. Ya got something to cover him?" Chet peered through the windshield.

"No, I need a turnout coat."

"Take mine." Scott lowered his coat.

"I'm gonna need a backboard, too."

"You got it, Pal."

"Chet, you're gonna need to pop the windshield and move the whole dashboard forward. He's really jammed in here."

"Okay."

Roy placed Scott's turnout coat over Johnny. "Hang on, Junior. You'll be out in a minute. Hang on."

**Chapter Seven**

Johnny had never given much thought to how loud rescue equipment could be. As the roof of the Rover was cut away and the dashboard dragged forward, he cringed at the noise. He concentrated on the feel of Roy's hand on his shoulder.

Once the pressure of the dashboard was relieved and the opening on the roof was made, a backboard was worked under him.

"Let us do the work."

How many times had he said that? It was against his nature to lie still, be dead weight, allow others to do for him. He tried to grasp the backboard, to push himself over onto the hard surface. Pain shot through his back and he cried out.

"Johnny, let us do the work."

Roy and Marco inched Johnny onto the backboard and pulled him from the car. Scott was waiting for him, trauma box, O2, and biophone at the ready.

"Rampart Base, this is Rescue Fifty-One. We have removed the victim from the car. He has large shards of glass embedded on the left side of his face. His left eyelid is severed, there is a gaping wound on his left nostril, and his upper left lip. He is bleeding profusely.

"Fifty-One, flush the eye with normal saline and patch. Remove the accessible shards of glass from the rest of the face. Start an IV with Ringers and transport as soon as possible."

"Ten-Four. Rampart, victim is in considerable pain. Request permission to administer MS."

"Negative, Fifty-One, he may have a concussion." Scott glanced at Roy, who was intent on taking care of Johnny's eye.

"No MS."

Roy nodded and continued on Johnny's eye. His face contorted as he struggled to control his emotions.

"Johnny, I'm just gonna patch your eye here..." He gently taped gauze over Johnny's eye. "Doing okay?"

Johnny nodded slightly. Roy wondered why Johnny wasn't reacting to the removal of the glass. Must hurt like hell.

"Don't try to be a hero, John. It's okay if it hurts."

Roy felt Johnny's hand on his arm. "Roy..."

"Yeah?"

"Anyone else?"

"Huh?"

"Did I hit anyone?"

"No...no one else. Just the Rover."

"Is it totaled?"

"Pretty much."

"Man...took the turn too fast."

"Yeah, don't worry about that now."

"What're you doin' to my face?"

"Just removing some glass. Your face hit the window."

Johnny's hand went to his face.

"Oh, man..."

**Chapter Eight**

"Johnny, can you hear me?" Dr. Brackett was checking Johnny's eye. "Johnny?"

"I...uh...yeah?"

"Johnny, you've got some glass in your eye and some bad facial lacerations. I've paged an ophthalmological surgeon. He's going to repair the damage to your eye. A reconstructive surgeon is going to repair the damage to your nose and mouth. Understand?"

"I...uh...what happened?"

"You were in an accident."

"Wha'?"

Brackett glanced at Roy and Scott. "Just relax." He patted Johnny on the shoulder and left.

Scott leaned over Johnny. "Hey, man."

"Scott. What're you doin' here? Shouldn't you be at Cheryl's play?"

"Hey, don't worry about it. The play was hours ago." Scott smiled at Johnny, shook his head at Roy, and left.

"Roy..."

"Yeah, Johnny. I'm here."

"I remember...I was late for work...real late..."

"Don't worry about it now."

"Could ya...apologize to Scott for me?"

"Sure. You rest."

"Roy...my face...how bad is it?"

"It'll be okay, Johnny. They'll fix it."

**Chapter Nine**

"I gotta pee!"

"Go ahead, Mr. Gage. I've got the urinal right here."

"I gotta pee!"

"Go ahead."

"No, get me up. Not gonna go in the bed."

"Mr. Gage, it's okay."

"Nuh huh. Get me up."

"Junior, go ahead. You wanna hold it yourself?"

"Roy, I gotta pee."

"I know. The nurse knows, all of Rampart knows. John Gage has to pee. So pee already."

"I wanna hold it."

"Fine, you hold it."

"Okay...did I pee?"

"Yeah, you peed. Congratulations."

"Think I'm gonna sleep now." Johnny dropped off into unconsciousness.

The nurse smiled at Roy. "Can you come back here every hour?" Roy laughed appreciatively.

**Chapter Ten**

"Is Uncle Johnny gonna be okay, Daddy?"

"He'll be fine, Chris. The doctors are fixing him up just fine. Don't worry."

"How come he had an accident? Wasn't he being careful?"

Roy glanced at Joanne. "He was being careful, Chris. It just happened. He'll be fine."

"Maybe he should drive the squad more. Ya know, so he can practice 'n stuff."

"Maybe. I'll tell him you suggested it."

"Good. Can I be excused?"

"Yes. Clear your dishes."

Chris jumped up, cleared his dishes, and dumped them into the sink. He scampered up the stairs. Joanne smiled at Roy, then turned to Jenny. "You haven't eaten much. You feel okay?"

"Sure, I'm okay." Jenny pushed some food around her plate. "Daddy..."

"Yeah, sweetie?"

""Is Uncle Johnny really going to be okay?"

"He's going to be fine. The doctor fixed his eye, his vision is going to be okay. And the cuts on his face will heal."

Jenny was silent.

"Jenny, would you like to see him? I can bring you with me tomorrow."

"No, I...I don't think so."

"Why not? I know seeing you would cheer him up."

"I just don't want to...may I be excused?"

"Jenny - "

" - Honey, leave her be - " Joanne interrupted. "Jenny, if you're finished, clear your dishes."

Jenny rose, picked up her dishes, and left the table. She returned, gave Roy a hug and whispered, "Tell Uncle Johnny I hope he feels better." Roy hugged her and whispered back. "I will. But I know he'd rather hear it from you." Jenny pulled free and ran up the stairs.

"Okay, Joanne. What was that about?"

Joanne sighed. "Give her a break, hon. She's only eight."

"I thought we'd raised her better than that."

"Better than what? Roy, she's an eight year old girl with a crush. What do you expect?"

"Jenny? Has a crush on Johnny? JOHNNY?" Joanne burst out laughing.

"Yes. Your little girl has a crush on your partner." She put her arms around Roy and planted a kiss on his head. "Don't worry, hon. You'll always be my crush."

Joanne picked up some dishes and left the dining room. Roy sat, flabbergasted for a moment, then followed Joanne into the kitchen. "Are you SURE? Jenny? OUR Jenny?"

**Chapter Eleven**

"Hold tight, almost finished." Johnny gripped the sheets of his hospital bed as the opthalmologic surgeon shined a light into his injured eye. He handed Johnny a tissue. "Sorry. I know that hurts."

"So? How does it look?"

"Looks great, John. You should regain total vision. Let me show you the lid repair..." He handed Johnny a mirror. Johnny flinched at the sight. His lid was swollen, with a jagged line of stitches running down the middle.

"Yeah, I know it's not attractive right now, but it's functional. I'll want your eye patched for another week or so, but I don't see any reason you can't be discharged, as long as you take it easy." Johnny continued to stare at his face...the perfect right side, and the disastrous left, with the stitches in the mouth, the nostril and the eyelid, the swelling, the black eye.

"John?"

"Yeah...okay. Thanks, Doc."

The doctor sighed. "Look, John...I know it looks bad now. But wait a while, for the swelling to subside."

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay. See you in a week. Keep that patch on."

"Sure, no sweat."

Johnny handed the mirror to the doctor, then laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "Oh, man..."

The door opened. "Johnny, feel like a couple of visitors?" Before he could answer, Chris pounced. "Omph!"

"Chris! I told you to stay off the bed!" Roy made a grab for his son, but Johnny laughed and pushed his hands away.

"Hey, Christopher! How ya doin'?"

"Great! Can I see the stitches?"

"Chris!"

"It's okay, Roy, let him look." Johnny let Chris inspect his face. "Cool, huh?"

"Yeah! What's the patch for?"

"Makes me look like a bad guy...grrrr!" Johnny tickled Chris, who howled with delight.

"Okay, okay, that's enough..." Roy hauled Chris off the bed. "I hear you're being discharged. Wanna lift home?"

"Yeah, I...where's Jenny?"

"She couldn't make it. Sends her love."

"Yeah...send her mine back."

"I will. Look, I dropped some meals off at your place and picked up some clothes for you. Let's get you dressed."

"Okay, okay, I can do it..." Johnny grabbed the clothes and started dressing. He stood up and zipped his fly.

"Hey, Uncle Johnny?"

"Yeah, Squirt?"

"I think your stitches are cool. Jenny, she says you're not cute any more, but I don't care. I didn't think you were cute to start with."

Johnny stared at Chris. Roy bent down and grabbed Chris' shoulders. "Okay, that's ENOUGH. Wait outside."

"But Dad - "

"Outside!"

The door closed behind Chris.

"Johnny, I'm sorry. You know kids. They uh, don't know when to keep their mouths shut."

"Johnny shrugged. "Yeah, well. My room's not exactly been a chick magnet the past few days..."

"Need help with your shoes?"

"Nah, I got it. Roy...did Jenny really say that? She doesn't think I'm..." He laughed sheepishly. "Cute anymore?"

"Not in so many words. Give her time."

"Yeah, sure..." Johnny straightened up and looked at himself. "I look awful."

"Give it a chance. It has to heal."

"No, I mean this shirt. It looks awful with these jeans."

**Chapter Twelve**

"Three weeks later, Johnny arrived at Station 51 for his first shift since the accident.

"Gage! Welcome back!"

"Thanks, Cap."

"Good to have you back, Pally. How ya feeling?"

"Fine, I'm fine, Marco. Thanks."

"Gage, good to see you."

"Thanks, Mike. Hey, thanks for the stuff you sent, man."

"Sure, no problem."

"Aha...the phantom's favorite victim returns."

"Yeah, yeah...good to see you too, Chet."

Roy watched Johnny accept the greetings from his friends. He'd kept his fingers crossed that Johnny's return would go smoothly. He'd been so down. As he waited for his face to heal, the world as Johnny knew it seemed to change. Dates canceled. Eyes lingered on his scars a bit too long. When he stopped to flirt with a pretty girl, she rarely flirted back. Johnny tried to shrug it off, but Roy knew him well enough...he was hurt. And angry, and lonely. And lost. To make matters worse, Jenny still refused to see him, pleading a stomachache when Johnny came over. Joanne kept telling Roy to leave it be, but Roy harbored a growing sense of disappointment in Jenny. Couldn't she tell how much she was hurting Johnny? Couldn't she SEE?

Johnny unbuttoned his shirt. "Okay enough with the welcome back stuff. I brought doughnuts." At the word "doughnuts," every man disappeared into the dayroom, leaving Johnny and Roy alone.

"You sure you're all right, Junior?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Johnny opened his locker. Just wanna get back to - "

"Johnny? What is it?" Johnny's face had paled. He stared into his locker. A sign hung in front of his shirts.

"Welcome Back, Scar Face!"

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Gage? Gage, I'm sorry, man. I thought you'd laugh." Chet sat down on the bench next to Johnny. It's just, ya know, every time I've visited, when we went to the movies, ya know...you kept referring to yourself as 'Scar Face.' I thought you were joking..."

"Yeah, well...I thought I was, too. Trying to make light of it."

"I'm really sorry, Johnny. I'll get rid of it." Chet took the sign from Johnny's locker. "I'll, uh...see you at roll call..."

"Yeah, see ya..."

Chet slipped from the locker room as Roy entered, giving Chet a punch in the arm as they passed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm fine." Johnny finished dressing. "Let's just...get on with things, okay? I'm gonna get a doughnut." He smiled at Roy and left for the dayroom. Roy pulled a scrap of tape from Johnny's open locker and rolled it into a ball.

"Damn it, Chet..."

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Dix, ya got a minute?"

"Sure, Johnny." Dixie closed the chart she was holding and smiled at Johnny. "What's up?"

"Not here...can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Sure." Dix threw Roy a questioning glance. Roy shrugged. "Let's go. I could use a break."

Johnny and Dix grabbed some coffee and settled down at one of the cafeteria tables. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Dixie..."

"Johnny? What's the matter?"

"Dixie...okay...Dixie it's like this...just how shallow am I?"

"Well, I suppose...it depends on what you mean by 'shallow,' Johnny."

"You know what I mean..." Johnny looked around. "How much am I...into myself, how I look, the whole trip?"

"Ah. Well, again, that depends."

"Depends?"

"Yeah. It depends on which John Gage we're talking about. If we're talking about the paramedic, the guy who rescues people, the guy who spends the station's Green Stamp books on gifts for a baby, the guy who camps and fishes, the guy with hobbies and loads of friends...you're not shallow at all. On the other hand..."

Johnny's eyes narrowed. "On the other hand..."

Dixie shifted in her chair. "Okay, you asked me. If we're talking about the guy who spends half his time here strutting his stuff around the nurses...you're as shallow as they come." Johnny cringed. Dixie patted his hand. "Hey. You knew that already. Come on, Johnny. What's this really about?"

Johnny looked down at his coffee. "I never told anyone why I was late that day...the day I overturned the Rover."

"Wanna fess up?"

"Yeah." He laughed uncomfortably. "It was my hair."

"Your hair?"

"Yeah, I got a new haircut, and I wanted it to look good..." Johnny blushed. "for this nurse I was hoping to impress. It didn't turn out right, so I washed it again. And again..."

"Oh..." Dixie suppressed a chuckle. The image of Johnny wrestling with his hair as the seconds ticked by...then she remembered what he'd looked like when he was admitted, and the urge to chuckle was gone.

"Dix...all my life..well, all my adult life, anyway...I've gotten a lot of mileage from my looks. Being, ya know..."

"Cute." It was Dixie's turn to cringe, remembering the times she had called Johnny 'cute,' or introduced him to nurses who would look good on his arm. Not always the nicest, kindest ones. The cutest ones. The Johnny Gage types. She hadn't given it a second thought. And neither, apparently, had the sad young man sitting with her.

Johnny smiled. "The good news is that these scars...they're fading...I'm gonna look pretty much the way I did before. The bad news...I think I'm glad. I've seen how the world is when I'm not, well..."

"...Cute..."

"Yeah. And I don't like it. So how shallow does that make me?"

Dixie shrugged. "That's up to you." She stood and kissed his cheek. "Don't get too full of yourself, sweetie. You're cute, but you're no Robert Redford."

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Jenny? Come on, Jenny. You can't have a stomachache every time I come over for the rest of your life. Jenny, come on. Can I come in?"

Johnny poked his head in Jenny's room. She was sitting on the floor, the top of her head just visible on the far side of her bed.

"Hey...I'm coming in, now."

"I have a stomachache."

"Yeah, me too." Johnny plunked himself down next to Jenny. "Jen, my face is almost all healed. I'm not scary any more." Jenny shook her head.

"Jenny, come on. It's just me. I'm not leaving here till you look at me." Jenny shook her head again. Johnny sighed.

"Ya know...I though we were friends...special friends. I thought...we could talk about stuff, ya know...Jenny, please talk to me..." Jenny shook her head.

"Okay, I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just get going..." As Johnny started to get up, Jenny put her hand on his arm. "Wait..." Johnny sat back down and took her hand.

"I remember when I met you. You were four."

"Three."

"Right, you were three. And the first thing you said to me was, 'I'm gonna marry you.'"

Jenny burst into tears. Johnny put his arm around her and sat quietly while she leaned against him and cried. As the tears lessened, he took her chin in his hand and looked into her face. "Okay. What is it?"

"Uncle Johnny, I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I was pretty scary looking. I don't blame you for not wanted to see me at first. But it's better, now. See?"

Jenny shook her head. No, it's not that. It's what I thought. Uncle Johnny, when Daddy told us about your accident, I didn't care about how you were. I only cared...about how you looked. How I couldn't marry you if you didn't look...ya know..."

"Cute."

"Yeah. And the more I tried not to care, the more upset I was, and the more upset I was, the more it mattered...and I felt like such a bad person..."

Johnny sat quietly, his arm around Jenny.

"Uncle Johnny, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was that bad, that..."

"Shallow."

"Shallow?"

"Yeah." He hugged Jenny. "Let's go get some ice cream."

"Really? You forgive me?"

"You bet." Johnny jumped to his feet and held his hands out to Jenny. She hugged him, then studied his face.

"Well? Am I still cute?"

"Not as cute as before, but yeah, you're cute." Johnny laughed and gently pulled her braid. "Let's go." They ran down the stairs and headed toward the door.

"Hey, where do you think you're going? It's dinner time!"

"It's okay Mommy, Uncle Johnny is taking me for ice cream."

"Not now, he's not. I just made dinner."

"Oh, Mommy...please?"

"Roy? What do you think?"

"I dunno...what's the occasion?"

Jenny looked at Johnny. Johnny shrugged. Jenny thought a moment.

"We're going to celebrate...being shallow. Right, Uncle Johnny?"

Johnny flinched under Roy's glare. "Yeah, yeah, that's it. We're celebrating being shallow. But only today. Quick, before they say no!" Johnny grabbed Jenny's hand and ran her up the block and around the corner.

Roy stared after them, shaking his head. "He finally gets her to open up and now he's buying her ice cream...for being shallow?" he felt Joanne's arms encircle his shoulders. "Hon, I think...they're celebrating being eight. Jenny will outgrow it...I don't know about Johnny..."

"I think he might. The girl he's dating...she's not his usual type. Bit chubby. Nice girl, though."

They were interrupted by an angry Chris. "How come Jenny gets ice cream? I was his friend the whole time, but she goes and pouts and WHAM! Ice cream for dinner."

Joanne looked at Roy. "Hon..."

"Sure, why not. Get in the car, Chris. Tonight, everyone is shallow!"

THE END


End file.
